Five More Minutes With Pop


Anyone that really knows me knows that there were many years that I didn’t see my father. Whether it was his choice when he left for the state of Washington for two years, or my choice when he went back to prison for almost two years when I was in my early twenties. There was a lot of time that I lost with him due to my own selfish pride, and for the past year there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I haven’t wished that I could just talk to him for five more minutes. The man only I called “Pop” died a year ago today, and I’ve been thinking all this week about what I would say to him, if only he were here.
I’d tell him that we’re all doing okay. That the past year has been excruciating and yet rewarding, sometimes all at once. That he would be so proud of the progress that Matthew has made. That he would be so proud of the wife and mother that Kimberly is. That her two sons, his grandsons Patrick and Dominic, are such amazing boys and will grow up to be great men. That Mom is the most amazing grandmother that anyone could ever ask for. That I’m keeping in touch with Patti because I know you would have wanted that. That Biff seems to be doing well. That my daughters, his granddaughters Ashlyn and Brooklyn, are getting so big and so smart and are the most amazing and beautiful little girls in the world. That I’m doing the best job that I can as a daddy, using many of the things that you taught to me. That I wish you could have met Ashlie. That you looked so peaceful as I watched you take your last breath that night. That I’m happy you’re no longer in pain. That the world isn’t as funny without you in it. That everyone loves and misses you like crazy. That I forgive you and hope you forgive me. That no matter what anybody else thought, I had a good father. That your memory will live on forever. That you’ll be with me until the day we meet again. That if we still have some time left in this five minutes, I just want to hug you until it’s over.

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